I cannot find my penis.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My vagina just clenched in fear
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
