jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
