I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
