you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
