he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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