it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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