why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize