Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
