last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
