Non-Jews are for practice
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
