apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
