Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
