so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Pants are for mortals
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
