Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
