Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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