I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I forget how to act sober
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
