i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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