I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
As shirtless as possible
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize