I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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