16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
