they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
