Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
