a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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