i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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