; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
