He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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