I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
