we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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