I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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