If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
handjob tips. give me some.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
