YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
