There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
