I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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