fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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