I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Let's get the cat blown out
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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