My brain says no but my pants say off.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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