can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
