Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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