I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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