Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
