I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize