I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
