i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
