You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
