We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
