I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
my poor anus
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
