I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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