So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
