So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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