OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think my mom watched the whole time
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize