did you get engaged???
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
