Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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