I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
porn star boner night. come get it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
