Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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