She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
