If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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