I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
third nipple confirmed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
