I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
