Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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