plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
