If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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