Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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