you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i think my cat just said my name.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
