Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
