she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
