i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
