dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
