sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
